How do you fix it without having the boundary to begin with?
Good question. I don't have the answer for anyone but myself - and I also know that I'm a "work in progress" in this regard. What helped me has been intensive inner-child work that involved tracing the roots of damaged self-esteem and lack of effective boundaries. I also recognize that MWD takes a very different tack with her "solution-oriented" approach. (Which is also similar to that of the "positive psychology" field).
For me a part of the problem stemmed from having been molested as a boy by a neighbor. I feel relatively fortunate though compared to some of the horror stories I know of IRL.
It would seem to be a catch-22, namely needing good boundaries to get healthy and needing to be healthy to have good boundaries.
So what do you suggest as a means for building healthy boundaries?
