I'm doing well with detaching, whatever we all agree that is! I'm just having what I figure is the usual feelings around actually moving out. Not letting those feelings affect what I do, but I still feel them, right?
Some relief. Some frustration that it came to this, that I'm giving up a lot of what I've built up in my house for a small apartment. Some frustration that we're both hurting our daughters.
I haven't been doing much social stuff the last month, as we were kind of muddling through our relationship stuff with stops and starts. Been doing more personal GAL stuff than group/social stuff. I'll need to change that when I'm in the apartment, as I'll have 3-4 nights alone, and I don't want to be the crazy Naked Guy from Friends.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Why would she get so pissed off last night when I said that a separation is what you do when you want to end a relationship? She made it really clear that she wants me out.
I don't know what my conditions for staying would be. Retro? Sounds like an ultimatum. More MC? That didn't seem to help. IC for her and me? Might help, but not really a prerequisite.
If she said she wanted me to stay to work on the R, to go "all in" with no expectations, I might consider it. But to stay for financial reasons, for the girls, I think is a mistake.
And she needs to express her wants. I won't mindread with her, trying to figure out when she's pleading with me to stay while calmly dividing up kitchen assets.
He is becoming a Patriot and needs to figure out his rules.
I think the progress of DB'ing caught him off guard.
He wants to walk to get his head straight and his W hasn't gotten hers straight.
Tables turned and there is a new level of confusion
But I must say that if I was him I would put my deep feelings aside and truly become a catnip without mindreading and pulling out answers from her W after having a sandwich.
She has been honest. Her feelings need to be focused on.
Great episode! I understand what you are going through, but you have to remain firm if you wish to reconcile your M.
I have two sons from my 1st M and they were about your kids age when we D'd. Although, my 1st ex and I could not reconcile the M we agreed that we would work together to ensure that out two sons would have a happy healthy childood. For the most part we have been successful even when I remarried and now going through my current sitch.
I have or should say we have two very happy teenage boys both working on Eagle projects in Boy Scouts. So your kids will prevail as long as you and your W understand that maybe the M failed, but your R is important for your kids.
I understand about the apartment. I hate mine and call it the prison. Nice homes in CT are outrageous.
In popular culture, the Mexican standoff is usually portrayed as two or more opponents with guns drawn and ready, creating a tense situation. Neither side is willing to shoot for fear of being shot in return, yet neither side wants to relinquish its weapons for fear that its opponents will shoot them.
This situation forces the participants to resolve the situation either by diplomacy, surrender, or a pre-emptive strike.
Which one of these are you doing Pin?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
In popular culture, the Mexican standoff is usually portrayed as two or more opponents with guns drawn and ready, creating a tense situation. Neither side is willing to shoot for fear of being shot in return, yet neither side wants to relinquish its weapons for fear that its opponents will shoot them.
This situation forces the participants to resolve the situation either by diplomacy, surrender, or a pre-emptive strike.
Which one of these are you doing Pin?
There are lots of alternatives than the three you posited; Retreat, for example.
