This is why, I believe, that the DB tack of working on oneself first is an effective one.
This is not the case when depression, infidelity, or other addictions are involved... The working on oneself thing is for the classic wayward... The text advocates confronting a spouse who has depression, is engaged in infidelity, etc.. That's not working on oneself first...
You are probably right; I'll have to reread about that.
My understanding of infidelity is that there are (at least) two patterns - one being the "sex addict" and the other being the "normal" (!?) affair.
When it comes to clinical depression or addictions, I believe that specialists or programs specifically targeted (like AA, NA, SA, etc) are needed.
Originally Posted By: Frank V
Retro I believe takes a similar position.. Classic waywardness is handled much differently than addiction or other obsessive behaviors.
Actually, RV avoids these entirely at first in the sense that couples with ongoing infidelity or an addict spouse not in recovery are not accepted to the program. The reasoning is that effective work on the relationship cannot be done with either of those two. It does help couples overcome the aftermath (most effectively imo). (Which is why there is much to learn from the stich's here.)
