You are all pointing out something quite valuable - (to paraphrase) that issues with boundaries are interwoven with the problems in the relationship, and that it may be unrealistic to snap one’s fingers and be fully functional all of a sudden. It’s a chicken-and-egg thing. I think the question is whether progress is being made or not. When learning (or unlearning) anything, it takes awhile to “get” and is rarely immediate.
Boundaries and communication skills are so important - and seem to be the very things that we are not taught growing up.
Absolutely agree with you 100% there, Arnie. I'm reading "Boundaries," by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend right now.
Setting (and enforcing) boundaries, goal-setting, balancing a checkbook & maintaining a family budget, dealing with adversity with character and grace. THESE are four things we as parents would be wise to teach our children!