The other element is the fact (at least according to Harville Hendrix) that most relationship problems are actually based on each partner's individual issues. This is why, I believe, that the DB tack of working on oneself first is an effective one.
That's one of the reasons calling your spouse out on CB is such a great 180. It shows you have detached a little to change your perspective and see your role and how your spouse is behaving in unacceptable ways. It means you are loving yourself (doing the work). You can't give away what you don't have, so until you love yourself you won't be able to share it.
Women and men know when they are out of line. I believe it is very loving to set and respect boundaries. "I respect the fact that you can do whatever you want but if you want to be in a marriage with me then you can't behave that way." Your spouse does something that goes against your values, beliefs and morals it is your responsibility to bring it up in a non-confrontational manner.
Not having the tools to do this is one of the reasons couples end up here. Once a LBS stands up for himself they are modeling healthy relationship skills and leading. Too many people regard it as - tough, manning up, setting ultimatums where once crossed there is no coming back, macho, harsh etc. It's wise, healthy, necessary, appropriate and loving.
It's one of the things you need to learn to handle because it will present itself again in most relationships. I have a issue with your behavior not you as a person. Looking inward you need to look at why you won't say something if it is bothering you.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
