As Mish said, it's a different learning curve for everyone. I feel really the M ended in January of 2007. That's when, for whatever reason, STBXW just shut the door on me.
I hear the concerns of Wii, Awest and Mishka, but at some point I have to turn the page. I just want to get out there and start meeting people. If I wait for STBXW to finish the D, it could be another year with the attorney she has.
I guess I feel I've waited long enough on STBXW's time line. It's time to do things on my own time line.
Who knows, I may go, have a horrible time, pine for STBXW and shut things down for a while. I think BBJ kind of did that.
I'm looking at this as another milestone -- an actual date, the first post-STBXW, not just a friend thing. There has to be a first at some point.
Not much to report today. Still MORE little things to grab at the apartment, but I'll have D8 tonight because D11 has to be at school at 6:50 a.m.??? tomorrow morning, probably for band.
I hate moving.
OK, you answered, now you're fair game! Now, you didn't "feel" the marriage was over, you believed it was over. "The end" of something does not mean feelings are now null and void just because the practical aspect of that R has ended. I do agree with you about getting out and meeting people and being active as it's an important part of healing but you've been doing that! You don't need to date to do that. You have your church and it's groups, your sports leagues etc that you're involved in. You've got a life and I just believe you're pushing yourself too hard to date at a time that seems inappropriate to me. You want to be validated by a woman, nothing wrong with feeling that (been there, done it!)BUT putting your energy into seeking that so that you can bury what you feel regarding the divorce is not the way to go. Yes, everyone does have their own learning curve but that means variance in learning not a totally distinct learning experience from everyone else. You're pushing yourself too hard. Btw, NoCode has a good point, meet with your Pastor and share your story and your grief (unless it's a she and she's single! ). Trust the Lord to work in your life for a bit, give yourself a rest. It's not the easy way (I think pushing is the easy way for you) but in the long run may be the better way. I'm done...again!
