This is why, I believe, that the DB tack of working on oneself first is an effective one.
This is not the case when depression, infidelity, or other addictions are involved... The working on oneself thing is for the classic wayward... The text advocates confronting a spouse who has depression, is engaged in infidelity, etc.. That's not working on oneself first...
Retro I believe takes a similar position.. Classic waywardness is handled much differently than addiction or other obsessive behaviors.
