What is and is not DBing

[flowmom]

So ABG, I respectfully disagree with your statement that I have propagated a "myth that is antithetical to DB".

Then we have a (respectful) disagreement. And if I had been addressing the LRT then I would agree more. However, what I was pointing out is that MWD disagrees with the statement that

Sometimes, the spouse just doesn't love you anymore.

Yes, I agree with MWD that love can be regained and DBing can help with that. Thing is though, most forum members' marriages are beyond that point. Most often the WAS doesn't love the LBS and they have firmly shut the door on the marriage.

If 90% of the people here are in a LRT situation, then "Marriage Busting" would be a more appropriate name for the forum. I don't believe that is the case, however - and I find it hard to believe that MWD would set all of this up and call it "Divorce Busting" for just 10%.

I assume that MWD's advice works best for marriages that are not at the point of needing the LRT. Unfortunately, most of us don't find out about DB until we get to that point and therefore the forum is mostly populated with folks whose marriages are beyond saving.

Some marriages are intractable to anything, be it MC, DB, or similar. However, I also believe that this can only be discerned after a genuine effort has been made to, say DB and sincerely do the work. It may, as in your case, still proves futile as far as saving the marriage. However, in many (perhaps most) cases, it can.

Many? Most? I wish I could believe that, but I don't