Not sure where to start or end, WAW? - #3

[hurtinhartford]

I hope John is okay. His flaky W might have buried buried him in a ditch by now.

[john28]

Well, I'm back!

A lot has happened in the past four days. Not too much to report on my sitch really, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Went out with the professor a few times in the past 4-5 days. She is really special, I have to admit. She's a lot like me in most regards. She's a very emotional person and speaks the same LL as I do (physical touch, words of affirmation). We've really seemed to click and that is a great thing. She is basically everything that my W is not - emotionally mature, a little wiser than her years, she has a killer job, she is an absolute genius. She's 26 and is already a college professor at a very prestigious university in my area. She's very open, always willing to bring up and discuss tough subjects, easy to please, always laughing.... yeah.

So I am starting to feel myself gravitate towards her. I don't know how to describe it, but everything happens for a reason. She challenges me on my past and asks what I wanted in a R and M - and to be quite honest I'm not sure why I settled so much with my W. The professor is challenging me in ways that I didn't think possible - really having me look introspectively at what I really want out of life and what I have right now. She really is a wonderful individual. I'm not sure why I've met her, but I'm sure it is for a good reason.

So for the past 4 days I've been sick. Professor lady has a cat and when I visited at her place I had an allergic reaction and my throat closed up and I had to use my epipen. Then one day later I guess I had a sinus infection and that spread to the entire left side of my face and now I can only open my mouth about 1/2 inch. Then I saw our accounts were overwithdrawn and we had no money left and I couldn't see a doctor. I told my wife about it and she could tell I was sick. She told me to go to the doctor and I was like, "With what money?".

W offered to give me money and I said no. She said she just got paid and could give me some money for food/doctor for the week. I absolutely refused. I told her that it was really nice of her to offer. I broke down a little bit, probably because of all the combination of pain killers and crap I was taking and cried on the phone a little bit and let her know that I just wanted someone to take care of me. She said she would come over and take care of me - but I told her that at the end of the day that wasn't what I wanted, I wanted someone to be there for me in the way I want which is something she couldn't do.

So I called professor lady instead. She came and took care of me last night. It felt good.

Today I had to go to the doc so I sold my golf clubs and got money for scripts and copay. Saw the doc, got lots of steriod shots, antibiotics and meds. I'm feeling somewhat better.

My W called and asked how I was doing and if she could still bring S4 over tonight. I told her that I should be fine, and that I had seen the Doctor. She asked how and I told her I sold my golf clubs so I could go see the doctor. She then went into the 'I offered you money so I don't feel bad for you' deal, which I told her that I understood, but I didn't want her money. I could live with the consequences of my actions.

So, feeling pretty bad today. Hoping to feel better soon.

[TimeHeals]

but everything happens for a reason.

Umm yeah, but because you make choices.

She told me to go to the doctor and I was like, "With what money?".

Insurance and a credit card?

She came and took care of me last night. It felt good.

I think you should think about why you need this mothering from women you are romantically interested in.

What would Freud say about that?

So, feeling pretty bad today

Being sick sucks. No doubt about it.

But... you were the one that said everything happens for a reason...

[pookie69]

Good grief,

The drama does not end even in the best of days.



Hope you feel better.

Sorry to hear about the clubs.

[Dane]

Have you got with a lawyer yet? You need to protect yourself financially!!!!!!!

[pookie69]

Have you got with a lawyer yet? You need to protect yourself financially!!!!!!!

Yes. ^^^^^ Make the next "date" a lawyer.

[hurtinhartford]

Hey John!

Good to hear from you. I know how crappy you can feel with a sinus infection so I hope you feel better soon! I am starting to date as well, but I am keeping an arms length away and I tell them that. Please watch about gravitating too close too soon...and it is too soon!!! It is great to have companionship of the opposite sex, but slow down on falling in the falling in love dept....get to know her first! Like take months...even years before you utter ILY. We all like to hear it, but you need proof in action not in words. After all, you don't want two hot potatoes thrown in your lap at the same time and if your professor lady friend is starting to pursue you then start pulling back....

[john28]

L is taken care of, everything is good on that front.

I lived a debt free life mostly, we only had one credit card which was maxed out from all the therapy we went to. So, no credit cards - I will be getting one though, already approved yesterday so that is about a week out.

Selling the clubs was very difficult - it is the one thing that W always complained about me, that I played too much golf and was away from the home. Well, no more of that...

I had to fax something for my W for her medical stuff just now and I called her to let her know it was completed so she could follow up. She was very appreciative and said that she was very very busy until Thursday but she wanted to spend some time with me and "have a discussion because she doesn't like this and it doesn't feel right". She wouldn't elaborate. I'm not sure what is going on now.

[john28]

Hey John!

Good to hear from you. I know how crappy you can feel with a sinus infection so I hope you feel better soon! I am starting to date as well, but I am keeping an arms length away and I tell them that. Please watch about gravitating too close too soon...and it is too soon!!! It is great to have companionship of the opposite sex, but slow down on falling in the falling in love dept....get to know her first! Like take months...even years before you utter ILY. We all like to hear it, but you need proof in action not in words. After all, you don't want two hot potatoes thrown in your lap at the same time and if your professor lady friend is starting to pursue you then start pulling back....

Good to hear from you HiH! I'm glad you are getting some companionship just as I am. It feels spectactular doesn't it? Makes you feel alive again? And frankly, somewhat worthy I suppose as if all this work you've done for yourself someone else is noticing. It is a very powerful feeling.

I think the most attractive thing about starting a new relationship or just dating is that you feel somewhat on even keel for the balance of power, especially after a sitch like yours and mine where you have a WAW and the illusion is that you are powerless. Interesting isn't it?

[TimeHeals]

spend some time with me and "have a discussion because she doesn't like this and it doesn't feel right". She wouldn't elaborate. I'm not sure what is going on now.

What's the matter? She hasn't found Prince Charming the Sugar Daddy yet? I don't think she's trying hard enough