First, I'm sorry to see you here. You are in the right place for support, understanding and ideas for getting your life back on track.
Second, if you have been coming here for a while before you posted your sitch, then you know what the common census is: LET HER GO.
It's common for the WAW to rewrite history and blame everything on you. Don't fall for it. We all have a part in our M getting to this point. She is the one who is having an affair, not you.
She has told you she wants out and that she wants OM to be a part of her life. The simple answer is to let her have what she wants. Tell her she needs to find her own place and that you won't be part of an open M.
Some of the vets will chime in soon. In the mean time, post often and ask questions. Most importantly, read as much as you can and notice what works in these sitches. It is hard work. You can and must do it for your own well being first and foremost.
