What happens when you are still sitting there 5 years from now "hoping" that today is the day she comes seeking repentance and forgiveness?
She may not be doing things she is proud of, however you can't know that for sure. She may appear to be unhappy to you, yet skip off with a giant smile on her face once your back is turned.
I never abandoned hope, but on the journey, my hope in him and our M was slowly changed into hope for myself and what I will do in this life.
I am a realist as well and the reality is we only have one life and I choose to not sit around "hoping" that today is the day.
This is why I think addictions are handled differently in db.
When you are addicted the "high" of dopamine or whatever from the addiction leaves friends and family thinking that the WS is happy... Addiction when in high mode can look very much like "happy".. But it really is more aptly called "excited".
It's a risky situation... And makes it very difficult to diagnose the situation accurately...
