I would like to contribute some food for thought here.
It sounds to me like your husband has some very mixed feelings right now and that, however cautiously and indirectly, he is sharing some of them with you. I believe nothing works more in your favor - given these circumstances - then him having to continue working through these mixed feelings without push or pull from any outside source.
But isn't the OW a "pull" from "an outside source" already???
It's not like he's thinking clearly, without outside influence. As long as this affair is going on, I'm afraid poor Zen isn't going to be able to make much headway with her wayward husband. My advice would be, if she doesn't want to do the whole tell-everyone-the-truth thing, to just give him a wide berth and do LRT.
