Pookie, I just finished reading you original thread there was a lot if great stuff in there from everyone on the board. Most of this stuff is sinking in, I'm glad for everyones opinions.
It seemed like you and your wife never lost contact during the whole process. I guess that's why I have such a hard time leading. I'm slowly starting to get that detaching isn't necessarily being completely unresponsive The hardest part I'm having is finding balance between all the concepts. Like leading vs. following. Or letting her go vs. Asking her out to attract her to me.
I'm slowly starting to get that detaching isn't necessarily being completely unresponsive The hardest part I'm having is finding balance between all the concepts. Like leading vs. following. Or letting her go vs. Asking her out to attract her to me.
Letting her go can be done is different ways. Some hardcore DB'ers claim that going completely dark will speed up the process. There is always a risk doing so as well. You need to "read" your W and check the temperature when making those decisions.
Things started turning around for me when I told her that I did not need her and I was fine by leaving her.
She started pursuing and now I am working on reconnecting and being attractive again.
This is not to say that if the limbo won't stop, I won't have to move afterall.
Alright, when I talked to her about the possibility of her watching them at the house she said she didn't know if it was a good idea. She felt like she is making progress to move forward and that this might set her back ten steps. I didn't push I good her that if it makes her uncomfortable then I would figure something else out. She kept saying that if I couldn't figure something else out to call her back, but I said it's ok I understand how you feel about being at the house I'll just figure something else out. She had to pick up a phone call and said she would call men back.
Instead of waiting for her to call me back I took the lead and texted her that I had the situation under control and that she needed to just smile it was one of her best qualities. I told her I appreciated the fact that she even considered doing it. She replied back "Awww thank you for always being so nice, I'm sorry I couldn't do more". Alright let me hear everyones oppinion on if I handled the situation properly or what I should have done instead.
Instead of waiting for her to call me back I took the lead and texted her that I had the situation under control and that she needed to just smile it was one of her best qualities. I told her I appreciated the fact that she even considered doing it. She replied back "Awww thank you for always being so nice, I'm sorry I couldn't do more". Alright let me hear everyones oppinion on if I handled the situation properly or what I should have done instead.
You did okay. You asked, she was not sure. You made a decision and dealt with the issue.
alright, i played with fire and i managed to piss my wife off. So anyway we were texting back and forth flirting a little and out of the blue she asks me who im going out of town with this weekend to a certain event. She says two names of my guy friends that i might go with and i just said no, why. She then texts me back back and says just asking sorry. So i say its cool, u can ask, i know ur still wanting to go. Id let you go but you would prolly have to do something for me . The next text i get is No that's ok were just friends. Have fun though. I told her i was just messing with her for her not to get mad that we could go back to talking about what we were talking about and she says that's not a good idea she should have stopped it earlier. I said sorry for pissing you off. and she responds with: we just dont need to talk like that. thats all, no biggie. Im not pissed. Just keep it friends conversations.
So what does everyone think. Ive got my opinion, but let me hear what yall think
Should I tell her that I'm going with another guy friend that she didn't mention? Should I just let her wonder about it if that is what she is even doing. She has come forth and told me things and she seemed to be up front with th whole OM situation what should I do? Somebody give me some feedback b/c I'm really feeling an urge to say something.
What didn't seem to work was me not just coming out and telling her who it was maybe. Or it could of been me talking about her coming. I don't really know.
. The next text i get is No that's ok were just friends. Have fun though. I told her i was just messing with her for her not to get mad that we could go back to talking about what we were talking about and she says that's not a good idea she should have stopped it earlier. I said sorry for pissing you off. and she responds with: we just dont need to talk like that. thats all, no biggie. Im not pissed. Just keep it friends conversations.