Just reaching out to say "hi" and that I feel your pain.
You say you want to heal...............Continue to allow yourself to heal. You say you don't deserve it...........Let go of "it". We hug onto "it" too tightly. Let "it" die a natural death. You say you want your H to get better..Let space,time and God work. His getting better is beyond your control. He may or may not. It may be sooner or later. Who knows? Doesn't stop YOU from getting better. You say you have blown any chance of your H respecting you...The WAS/MLC doesn't seem to worry about LBS respecting them. Don't worry about the wrong things. Respect yourself. That is the number one respect issue to focus on. We teach people how to treat us. Calm,dignified,resilient,at peace with life and yourself,able to smile and enjoy life. When we reach this point, that is what we project. Who can disrespect that?
