Of course I wanted my marriage to work. I have been working on myself since Jan. 2010. I was seeing a therapist Jan.- April but quit her because she kept telling me to leave him. Then I started on meds since I was heading for a nervous breakdown. The psychiatrist told me I never should have married my husband. I finally found a Life Coach who helped me to be happy. He has helped so many but most importantly, people I know who were in the same boat. Mr. M. ( the life coach) is all about putting couples together esp. after an affair but he will tell the truth if he sees it isn't going to work. He told me to leave H. H was not willing to work on himself and us. H quit after 2 sessions by himself. Claims it wasn't going to work, that I didn't change. That I keep bringing up my hurts. I informed him, " how can you say it didn't work since we never went together? You were not willing to do the things that Mr. M told you to do like start seeing me more regularly, slowly start moving back into the house with me." He was lying to Mr. M, just like he lied to me. My H is very stubborn. The way I see it, Mr. M sees it, and all our friends and our sons, he is a quitter. That I did 100% or more to work on us but he did nothing.
So, does that help with any questions you might have about us?
I am still working on me and making myself be happy. I am trying to be patient and let time heal all wounds.
It is difficult for in less than 2 weeks it would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. Then Thanksgiving, then Christmas & New Years. My sons are grown and live away. One in England and the other about 30 miles away. The oldest is a lawyer and the 2nd is in law school.
I thought this empty nest would be a happy time for us. It wasn't. Our mortgage will be paid off in 2013. We both make decent salaries but it will be a struggle for me. I am staying in the house so far and he pays for the mortgage besides his rent. I can't save that much to afford the vacations that I dreamed about. I love traveling and this should have been the best time of my life with my oldest living in England.
I will admit, I am upset about that. BUT I realize I can't dwell on that and just move on.
