Okay I recieved the book today recommended by Someone on these. Boards. ( no names in case they get banned - shame really because suggested book is good )
Anyway early chapters and I am a could do with little feedback.
Being with husband for 30 years ( since 16 ) I have no idea really how to act on a date. Insm financially independent , confident woman who would like nothing more than to be dragged from my cave by my hair and into my mates cave. So I am slightly conflicted.
Problem 1 I joined a dating site few days back and have had good success. Communicating with 4 men at moment . I am going for the rotation combo ! Anyway met 1 for coffee today. No instant chemical attraction but he was good company. Follow up text would suggest he little smitten and he would like to go out for dinner.
So
1 should I go if not that attracted physically? 2 do I let him pay for dinner ?
It is good practice, and if I ask YOU out I excpect to pay. Don't get all caught up with who pays etc. it is silly. These things should be ZERO pressure. Go if you want to. Go if you are bored. Go if you want practice dating. Go if you want a good meal.
But remember, its just a date and it implies no comitment beyond that.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
I guess I have a different train of thought. If you are wanting to make more friends along the way, sure go on a second date. If you are looking for that "someone" though, I would end it right there. If they don't have the qualities you are looking for and there isn't any chemistry, why go further?
Just my .02.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I agree, however, I did the online dating thing before I got married. What I found was that the whole thing seemed akward and stilted. So much so that I really didn't learn much of anything about the person I was meeting (other than physical attraction) on the first date. The second one was really like a first date.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
Sure, go out again, if you think it could be fun. If you aren't into him though, let him know you are playing the field right now, or rather, you are not looking for anything serious. If he invites you & wants to pay, you could let him. If he wants more than you do, tell him you're not into it.
I would say go out with him, but offer to pay your half. If by the end of the second date you are sure there's nothing there, make sure to let him know.
Okay - as some of you know, I've only dated one guy since my ex left. We dated for about a year, then he dumped me for his old college flame - we remain friends.
Soooo......I'll admit, I moped a bit and waited around hoping he might change his mind. Finally in the last couple of weeks I really decided it was time to let go, and cut back on our online chatting so I could do so.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I'm finishing up paperwork at my desk. TWO men are chatting with me online on a dating site. One is a completely inappropriately young guy who chatted with me once before - he's smart handsome and funny as hell and apparently my sense of humor amuses him.
Two is a scientist who is ONLY ten years younger than me, also smart handsome and very into cool music.
Meanwhile I am answering emails from the East Coast writer who has a crush on me (he's the same age as me at least, but 3,000 miles away).
And MEANWHILE, in a moment of weakness, I told a 34 year old guy yesterday that I would consider going for a drink with him.
Honestly, I feel my resolve against dating younger guys weakening every day. I tell them I'm not interested but some of them are quite persistent. I find myself starting to think "Oh why not? They'd probably be a fun roll in the hay".
But I KNOW that's not me. I'm a monogamous sort. Plus - if I spend the next few years playing around with these younger guys, what are the chances later of finding a long-term mate? I'm still cute at 54, apparently, but at 64? Probably not so much.
Then again, when I told the ex-boyfriend about my crush of young suitors, he said "Why not? You're yummy. You don't belong in the monastery".
Oh - and what IS it with guys wanting to send you pictures of their junk? Lol. Is this some new dating ritual? Or are there just a lot of pervy guys out there? Trust me, whatever you've got, I've SEEN IT BEFORE.
Wait, really? Guys are pulling a Bret Fahvre on you? Seriously?
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
Did Bret do that too? O guess I haven't been watching the news.
Yes apparently many of them are eager to show me the goods. Up until today I have successfully dodged such emails. Then chatting with the inappropriately young guy today, I made a joke about him NOT doing that and he decided to take it as a challenge. And spent the next hour HILARIOUSLY constructing a very intricate four-point argument worthy of a philosophy professor as to why I should allow him to send me precisely such a photo. In the end I was laughing so hard I caved.
