JTJ Go on a date if you want to go on a date for yourself..don't do it to get a reaction out of her! Give her what she wants...a life without you. You don't have to file for divorce unless you are doing it to protect yourself. Good luck to you.
I was thinking about this very topic when reading some of the posts today.
At some point you just get tired of feeling sorry for yourself, and you decide to go on with your life. When that first happens, it's a bit daunting, and folks use phrases like "starting a new chapter" blah, blah. That's the point when they are deciding to go on by themselves (like they had any choice in the matter) and are finally beginning to accept what has happened, and the next step is realizing they are still themselves, this is the same life not a new book or even new chapter really.
And once you let go, then you recognize something: your wayward spouse may be in all sorts of strange pain and denial, but it's just not your problem. You almost feel sorry for them. Maybe compassion is a better word. They can't hurt you by drunk calling/texting you, by accusing you of things, by blaming you, and... the one that took me the longest to detach from... telling you what you think.
Crap happens in life, but you get over it, and if you get over it before your wayward spouse... well, in my case anyway, that sure peaks their interest, and boy will the test that, but if you are over it, you are all about living your life again, not trying to rescue them, and so on.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I don't I am in lets get this crap over with I do not feel sorry for me, for her I feel absolutely nothing, I feel sorry for my kids. I feel nothing for her
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
