I am finding a lot of contradictions here

[Truegritter]

Then if he wants to R .....how should I expect him to act towards me?

Honestly?

This is a long way off I think. No way of telling cause it's up to him NOT you.

Nothing you do will make him come through it quicker

BUT

You can make it longer by your actions.

I would say whether he is MLC or not you should detach and understand that you have your own journey and let H take his.

One question you should probably ask yourself and right quick

What are you prepared to do to save your M if you are not guaranteed it can be saved?

I would not encourage any expectation of what it looks like or when it happens or how you will know.

You'll know if you have done the work here if you want to share your life with him again.

Welcome to these boards Cat45