What he's telling you is classic A talk and like ShockedOne said pure manipulation. You have to quit thinking about whatever is going to make him mad because he sure isn't considering your feelings.
By the way, he's likely lying to her as much as he's lying to you. The best thing I did was to have a heart to heart with OW but that was after months of different approaches that didnt' work. Does she have a spouse to expose to?
