Getting the best of both worlds living in our house with me paying bills and doing whatever she wants.
This is cake-eating. Common practice for WAS. Getting their "fix" from PA/EA/OP, and still having normal life "items" taken care of by LBS. Horrible spot to be in as a LBS, and makes it tough for you. You want to take care of things for WAS in hopes that it will bring the WAS back around to you. Best thing to do is to cut all finances you are paying for that support her affair. If she has a cell phone you pay for, shut it off, make her make her car payment, insurance payment, fuel, etc.... You will ensure that food is paid for so your son can and you can eat, power is on, etc.....
- I got flowers for my room - I got some meditation in and studied some on buddhism - I spent some quality time with my son. - I left the house without letting her know and did my own thing for a bit. This shocked her some.
Our interactions have been great and I have been pretty detached from the whole thing since I have been home.
lol she is totally curious about where the hell I went. I never go anywhere with out letting her know. She started guessing I just left it up in the air with a friendly "oh no I just went out for a bit"
I just went to the library to read just to do something abnormal and make her curious. Guess it worked!
You know the changes I am making I feel like they are for me! Some of the 180 stuff started for her but ultimately I am owning what i like and keeping it and getting rid of what I don't.
Today I feel great!
One thing I am really struggling with even with my new found confidence is to stop checking the phone records. I still think I should do it once aday or so but not as often as I am ( hourly or more). I am very obsessive. I hope it will pass I am trying to release it.
This mornign was an awesome DB morning.
- Woke up - Got my son ready for school - She decided she was coming with us (we have one car) but she seriously considered not doing that which would have meant yet another day where she doesnt do anything. (She doesnt seem very motivated, mind reading I know lol) - We dropped our son off and had positive interactions the whole time - She took me to work and I did not initiate any conversation, just red my book. She asked me to play some music so I put on a Moby concert. She started really getting into it and chatting with me about it. I stayed cool and didn't get ambitious with the conversation, just a pleasant chat between "roomies". When I got to work we were even joking a little biut and I made a joke that made her laugh her ass off before I left. Thats one things shes always loved about me, my ability to make her laugh. Again I didn't get excited, I wished her a great day and left. Perfect! - She was annoyed a bit when we first got up when she talked about going grocery shopping. I told her I didnt know how we were going to handle that yet. She said what do you mean, I said well remember I have my paycheck going to a new account. We decided to transfer grocery money to the joint account so she could handle it but I could tell it annoyed her some . - She tested mea bit announcing she was going to the bar tonight. Its where she usually goes on Tuesdays if she goes out and see'sher friends and the OM. She said she had 3 dollars for cover and was goignt to take some vodka to drink before she went inside. I just acted cool and didnt respond, said OK. - One thing thats very strange is she hasn't contacted the OM in over 24 hours. They usually text a ton. Not reading into it but its odd for sure, I know she doesn't have another phone yet so..
BTW I bought the Divorce Remedy last night as well. So far most of it is just a rewrite of the DB book. Is tehre anyting in particualr I should be looking at in it thats new/updated info?
I do like the rewrite better its much clearer and to the point but for the most part the same info. Am I missing something so far?
oh yeah she noticed the flowers by my bed when she came in my room and commented on them to. She was impressed.
rankly I love flowers I dunno why I stopped getting them for myself/her. Just lazy I guess. I used to get flowers all the time even before I met her.
One of my new 180's is to find something beautiful every day and capture it somehow or bring it home. Something I used to do when I was single. I've really lost my artistic spirit over the years. I let life take over that part of my life.
At any sorry for rambling.. just feeling good about myself for a change.
How do you know there's not another phone? Don't discount the OM just yet. He may be paying for one. WAS are sneaky. Not saying there isn't one, but don't just assume there's not.
