Just another comment. With the observation about maybe the OW#2 is gone and the deepening depression. That would still put your husband at the end of replay or the beginning of depression stage.
My point is that this still has a long way to go, you are seeing movement, which is good but this is far from over.
Keep on your path, you are really doing a good job at DB'ing. Patience is the name of the game.
Keep doing for YOU and have FAITH that YOUR H will follow...
"good things come to those that <fill in the blank>"
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
It will be interesting to see if he takes up your movie offer GAG but it has opened the conversation up that little bit further because you can share with him the movies you go to see whether he joins you or not.
Lance and Eric, thank you SO much for your encouragement regarding the need for PATIENCE. Your reminders are more appreciated than you know. It really DOES help to be reminded. Thank you!
Cas, I've written on your thread. I am going to take Beatrice's recommendation and look at Yellowrose's threads. Haven't looked at them for quite some time.
............(drum roll).............The gauntlet has been dropped by CW. .........and actually I DO have an interesting development to report. Just spoke with the forensic scientist about an hour ago and he said there is one perfect print on the book (very detailed, like it was taken with an inkblot) and 2-3 others that he may be able to get reasonable detail on. He told me exactly which finger it was, but I am not disclosing that here in case there are prying eyes watching. I am taking the items with prints from the prime suspect (BMF) to the forensic scientist on thursday afternoon. Don't know how long it will take him to check my sample for a match...........Also, yesterday I found my copy of our purchase agreement with lots of BMF's (he was our realtor for the sale) printing on it. I can use this to have the handwriting analysis done if the fingerprinting doesn't tell us anything.
My sister says that I need to turn this story into a mystery novella titled something like "The Spurned Bunny Boiler".......or something along those lines. .....Actually, I think the title should have more alliteration, so if anyone can think of a synonym for "spurned" that starts with a "b", please let me know. ..............or if you have ideas for other titles, I'd love to hear them!
I'm rushing out the door to play table tennis now. XH e-mailed me today to say "Don't try anything fancy. Just hit the ball. You can beat the $hit out of that 9 year old girl!".......The pressure is on.
Hey GAG, Just catching up, seems like you are on the "LBS hampster wheel" and it is coming back around to hopeful feelings again......I am glad for you.
Just know that you will cycle back around again and that it is normal, or at least it is happening to me, soooooo that means it is normal....
I'm normal....right???
Just a little suggestion, and this is a hard one to remember. I think it is okay to ask your XH to the movies, however I am concerned about you.
The way you ask leaves you "standing by the window awaiting his answer", not a good place to be, huh? And you are the one that did it to yourself, and when he doesn't respond or he chooses not to go, it summons up some of that anger and sadness.
IMO a more direct/indirect approach would be in order.
Think about this for a minute.....you really don't care whether you go to the movies with your XH or not......
Really you would be content sitting in front of a wall watching paint dry as long as it was with him.....right?
The question you want answered is not does he want to see a movie or not or when or if he can or not.
You want to know if he would "LIKE" to do something with you, ie paint dry....LOL.
I have been around gritter to much, hitting this damn "enter" key too much.....all these spaces.
Try something like this next time......
Hey, Goodattitudeguy, would you like to go to a movie with me?
If, Goodattitudeguy says "yes", then you could say.....
that's nice, maybe I will say yes if you ask me sometime....
then smile,spin, and walk away and flip your hair the way you girls do when your trying to be cute.
Notice you did not ask him to the movies........
You asked if he would "LIKE" to go with you.....no specific time, day or anything, just if he would like to go. It is a closed ended question with only one logical response.
Hang in there, keep posting the positive stuff.
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
.........and actually I DO have an interesting development to report. Just spoke with the forensic scientist about an hour ago and he said there is one perfect print on the book (very detailed, like it was taken with an inkblot) and 2-3 others that he may be able to get reasonable detail on. He told me exactly which finger it was, but I am not disclosing that here in case there are prying eyes watching. I am taking the items with prints from the prime suspect (BMF) to the forensic scientist on thursday afternoon. Don't know how long it will take him to check my sample for a match...........Also, yesterday I found my copy of our purchase agreement with lots of BMF's (he was our realtor for the sale) printing on it. I can use this to have the handwriting analysis done if the fingerprinting doesn't tell us anything.