No problem. Wish it hadn't come to this. We all know it's a possibility. There comes a time that we have to accept it.
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I have no idea how to show her the man I am now that she filed? Not sure if it really matters now? It seems very clear that she doesn't want me...she doesn't care what she's missing.
You show her by agreeing with her. Stop fighting it, as hard as it is. You must accept it. You show her by being fine with it all, holding your head high, knowing you did everything you could to keep the M together. You faced your fears and mistakes and are a better person because of the introspection. You're right, she may not want you, but she will realize what she is missing. I know it doesn't help, but I think it's true.
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I've tried to put the blaming myself behind me but I still live with the regret. So much hurt.
Yep, I know what you mean. You have to tell yourself that this is her choice. I'm sure there were many times you were mad at her a thought, "God, why did I marry this woman? She is driving me crazy!" You didn't leave. You stuck it out.
In the end, you can and will be proud of yourself for what you have done and who you have become. Take your time and embrace your (unwanted) freedom. Be strong and proud!
