How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[NotCrackingUp]

Thanks, Pinhead and HurtinHartford.

I suppose our having similar musical memories is no surprise, since we're of an age, Pinhead. I knew the Police were known in the 'States, but was not sure about Elvis Costello (in the early 'eighties, anyway). Costello is one of my favourites, and I have too many songs of his I love, but "New Amsterdam", "Big Sister's Clothes" and "Diving for Pearls" are in my top list. I thought Joe Jackson wasn't really known in the US, I love "Look Sharp" as an album. Sums up the pale dark, dreary side of 'eighties British Isles. Also love Nick Lowe and Dave Edmunds, but maybe you've never heard of them.

It's not so much of a problem to listen to sad songs, they give a shape, a resonance to the "rude and shapeless mass" of unhappiness inside you, and lighten it or ennoble it, somehow.
And that goes for (some) country as well. One of my favourite songs is "The Player" (I think that's the name, it's about advice on life based on card-playing, sung by Kenny Rodgers and possibly Willy Nelson?).

By the alt, do you mean FCBK? If so, I am. Only recently decided to give it a try. I don't really use it as an exhibition centre, I've got in touch that way with a few old friends I'd lost contact with and we swop messages, I've also shared some music I like with acquaintances.Plus my eldest D has a FCBK page, that way I can follow who/what she's in contact with discreetly.It felt a bit strange at first, putting my name and face out into space, but it's a means of contact, it's what you make of it. You seem highly computer literate, I suppose you're there somewhere too.

HurtinHartford,you're dead right about one thing: he's only thinking of himself at present, either because he's suffering in some way or because that's the way things are. I'm trying to detach from him, but I grew up, in many ways, beside him, became a woman by his side, I can't just turn it all off at the flick of a switch. I do my best, but the blues come down very hard at times.

Good on you for going out on a date. To be honest, I'd love to have an evening's attention from a member of the opposite sex, but am afraid my strange status (wedding ring, 3 kids and yet no man - did she eat him? Is he in the deep freeze?) is a bit off-putting. And I'm ok, but I'm not 25 anymore, and my mileage shows a bit betimes. I'd love my H to come back, but can't afford to keep hoping too hard, I'll go mad like that, still be in the same state 10 years from now. I need to change, and can't change him. But I can't see myself totally celibate for years, I'll mummify. Great spiritual and moral dilemma, but purely theoretical for the moment.

Good luck the 2 of ye. I'd look out for HIH or PH on FCBK if I knew what to search for.
NCU