I think you need to tell him what the real issue is...not what you were arguing over, but it sounds like the real issue is snapping/witholding/dismissing/stonewalling. Let him know those reactions trigger things in you, right or wrong, that's the way it is now.
Hi GW, thanks for your insightful comment. Yah, you're right - it's probably the withholding itself, not, so much the specific 'thing' he's being withholding about.
I did tell him that when he withholds etc it makes me feel pushed out of his life; like he's only willing to share 'so much' of himself with me. He apologized, but he still wouldn't open up. Which to me seems no better than saying: 'Yes I feel badly for being withholding and dismissive... but don't think for a minute that I'm going to change it' Yeesh! What good does that do me!?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
