Boundaries in Marriage

[DownNotOut...yet]

I kept her busy with exercise classes, swimming, dancing, dance lessons

Bad, not so bad that you did it per-se but these are her issues. Some how she acts up and either she puts this stuff on you, or you take it upon yourself to deal with it for her (with good intention to be sure). The fact that you do it though, conditions her that you solve her problems. It is a recurring theme that your problems are your problems to solve and her problems are your problems to solve.

She is a grown up and needs to deal with this stuff. For it to be on your shoulders does not help her to mature or make your relationship healthy. To much egg shelling.

I didn't nag her about finding a job

This is good I think. Though if you read the paragraphs above, it takes a heck of a lot of nerve for her to treat the guy who is paying her way, the way she does.

Boundaries in Marriage is a good thread title, you are baby stepping in the right direction, but you still need more of them.