I will still be here, rooting for you and following along. You're already confused by too many voices in your ears, so to add mine at this point is probably counter-productive.
To my eye and ear, you have a BOUNDARY issue on your hands. Everyone tells me that Coach is THE best on boundaries, so I'd start with him. He's telling you what you need to do (and so are several others).
Steve, you have merit in your TKD understanding. I never pretended to compete with the TKD philosphy. I was confident and still am in my other endeavors. I built her confidence and I encouraged her growth in TKD. That is Precisely why I need this to be her decision. Then she can look at it as it is.. her choice. I do understand the infatuation and I know I can do nothing about it. I also know the TKD OM is NOT honorable and it is that same honor that is causing this difficulty with my wife.
You cannot force it.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Now my hands are shaking.. She just de friended... ok may not mean anything, but it may mean everything. It means for now the damn Boundary is intact. I got lucky. I know this.
now I need to figure out how to proceed.
same 180's they were working.
help...
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
When I first came here, I admit I was pathetic. I wouldn't listen to anyone on here, yet I still came day after day.
I was in awe of Coach and Greek, humbled by Sandi, terrified of Robx, grateful for the countless others who came and helped me, none more so than Puppy.
No matter how stubborn I was, he was more stubborn. No matter how many times I tried to give up, he was still there on my thread encouraging me to do, not try. I failed, so many times, however I continued to get back up with the help of Him and the people here.
I put my H in the "MLC" box because it was easiest for me, it was concrete because I couldn't believe the man I had known for 22 years could treat me the way he had. He was cruel and vile and hateful and on a good day, he is still all of those things, yet I kept coming here and slowly I learned what would work for me.
I came with the intention of saving my marriage and somewhere along the way, I was taught how to save myself instead.
Each and every person that takes the time to come and post to your thread is trying to do the same for you. Stop putting all the focus on the M and the EA and the TKD and put some of that focus back on yourself.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Dude, you know how to proceed. You're on the right track. You have just proven that boundaries work. Don't be afraid to tell her what you won't put up with. I made the mistake of being afraid of hurting my wife's feelings and here I am, still.
Everyone has been telling you what to do and what works. The FB thing may be no big deal. On the other hand, it is important enough to you to make you shake. Don't get all melty and think this is over. Stand up for yourself and stand up to her behavior that is threatening your M.
Yeah, it does, Bring it on! This is when you find out what you are made of. Nobody else can do it for you. You can handle it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
