LRT is a detachment tactic.. filing for divorce being the last step of that technique
MWD advocates using LRT if other non LRT tehcniques are failing, the spouses are separated, the WS has filed for divorce already, etc... Again this is all in the book.
I don't wnat to type the book out here as it may offend some readers.. LRT is not synonymous with filing for divorce...
The ultimatum as described on pp 230 is for the LBS filing for divorce and how to go about this, what to say, what to expect, what not to expect... and why this is a tactic and not simply throwing in the towel.
My point I made earlier is that there are other ultimatums/boundaries that can be set earlier on with the WS before the filing for divorce consequence needs to be acted on.
MWD makes the point that if there is obsessive or addictive behaviour that some "losses" on the part of the WS need to happen before they will take the time to look inward and consider making any changes to thier destructive behaviour.
This is pretty much in line with standard addiction treatment : intervention, end all enabling, end all support and invite the addict to end their behaviour and enter a recovery program.
The point being that action has to take place here... And yes this would be part of LRT... Since its clearly a different strategy from the more obvious "loving" tactics.
In my opinion withdrawing support for an addiction and refusing to enable the addict further IS a loving act.
We ground children for similar reasons, the act of grounding a child doens't in any way suggest any less love is felt for that child.. Only that a different and less obvious form of love is needed to remedy reckless or destructive behavior.
