Help!, back again after 4 years!!!!!

[WalkingMan]

DC,

I think you are rationalizing. Pursuing may seem like a 180, but again, it only drives them away.

The reality is that rarely does any woman come back once they've moved out. Read the posts here, you will see. Separation is just as good as a divorce in many WAS minds and they are free to let there hair down and get their feet wet. At the same time they dont have to deal with any guilt. They have had a long time to learn to compartmentalize.

The marriage is over..at least metaphorically. I suggest you light a fire in your back yard, have a glass of wine, make your peace and have a little funeral. In the unlikely chance that you reconcile, it wont be the same marriage.

I order for you to work through this, you must become the WAH. At this point she knows your still an option, and thus she has control of the situation. You're going to have play hardball and RobX's post reflect this. It's all about respect and she cant love you if you dont have her respect. You have to respect yourself before that can happen.

She has to fight for you, accept no less.