So I feel as if i am caught between a rock and a hard place. Bust the divorce and save my self- respect but probably lose all hopes of reconciling. Or don't bust, keep a slight chance of reconciling, and carry this burden on my shoulders. This is all so unfair!
Yes, it is definitely unfair. ALL of our sitches are unfair! It's unfair that my wife would voluntarily walk away from her two children, and forget all the great times that we had, but it is what it is.
I do think that what you say here is a FALSE CHOICE. I don't think you're guaranteed that it WON'T work if you stop lying for him, and I also don't think that you have a very good shot at reconciling if you keep their affair a secret. I think they're going to do what they're going to do, and what YOU should do is, whatever seems authentic and genuine to you and your values. Like I said above, I CERTAINLY wouldn't lie if someone asked me outright . . . are you?
