Had a pretty good weekend so far. Went out with some friends to a new bar on friday night. A rock type bar with open mic nite on fridays. my friend wanted me to sing, but I didn't. I am too self conscious. Stayed there till about 11pm and then went to a costume party late. closed that up and went over to my old neighbor's house with them for a few more beers and smoked a cigar. My house was all dark, but it was late. Neighbor's W said my house always looks like that. I left about 2am or so. Had a sandwich at home and went to bed about 3am.
Went to soccer on Sat am. W called and said her guests had gotten sick, so they weren't coming over and she would take the kids to soccer. It was raining and W was sitting under an umbrella with D when I got there. I stood with a couple of other parents. I didn't talk to W. She came over where I was to talk to some Mom's, but she didn't say anything to me. She left early to walk a few fields down for D's game. I joined her after S's game finished and set my chair next to hers. We said about 4 or 5 sentences to each other the entire hour. When they left I said goodbye to D and to W. She said bye too.
Went home, ate some lunch and took a nap. Just hung out at home and didn't do much. It was raining and a pretty lazy day. At 11:30 pm I decided to go out and see what was going on. first bar was DEAD, so I didn't even go in. Next place was busy, but the patrons were very young. Had one beer and moved on. Nest place is one of my regulars and there were a few people there. Talked with the bartender and owner for 1 beer and left there too. Started raining again, so I went home.
Just hung out at home pretty much today. Watched a bunch of football, did some laundry and cleaned-up a bit. Had a smoke and beer with the neighbor. Friend who's W said my W told her she was lonely is coming over for a while tonight to watch some of the Packers game. Need the win this week, but I am not so sure it will happen. At least the Bears lost!!!
Going to cooks some venison loin on the grill for dinner tonight, whenever I finally get hungry. That will be good. Mmmmmmmmmm.
Thanks for understanding. I was on a campout this weekend so didn't have much time. Started catching up on some of the others, but have a long way to go.
I'll be off the next couple of days and will check back, but wanted you (and everybody else) to know I got the messages. I love you guys.
Cheers bud.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
Hello my friend. I've caught up on your sitch and although I'm a few steps ahead in the process, what your feeling is normal. I've never been in a position to give advice but I can certainly empathize with what you’re going through. The advice that I’ve been given and similar to what I’ve read on your thread is to find that internal happiness. For me that hasn’t happened yet but I feel I’m getting closer.
Its ironic Dan, when I was hit with D all I could think about is making my M work and praying that my W would come back to me. Reality has set in and she is begging to work on our M now. I’m more conflicted now then ever, how do you take someone back that had put us through this. Will the feeling of betrayal ever go away? Will we ever trust our W’s again?
These are questions you really need to ask yourself and only you can answer them. I always thought I would take her back with open arms but that’s not the case anymore. I’ve maintained a pretty good R with her after all we’ve been through. I’m trying to learn how to forgive her for what has happened. I think with time both of us will be able to forgive our wives and move forward with/without them
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Good to hear from you FFH! It's been too long. Are you going to update us on your thread? Maybe I just missed it.
My W and I don't really have an R right now. Pretty much the only time I talk to or see her is when we are exchanging kids and lots of times we don't even see each other then. I pick them up from school when she is at work and she picks them up from my house usually after I have left for work. There is almost no communicaiton at this point.
I am getting closer to moving on and being happy on my own. I don't just sit around and think about this as much as I used to. I try to get out with friends a lot and keep myself busy. I'm actually doing pretty well, considering the situation.
I was the same as you when frist hit, the difference is that I haven't seen any change in W wanting to work on this and I don't know if she ever will. I have mostly resigned myself to that fact, but it is so hard to let go completely. I too thought I would welcome her back with open arms, if it ever happened, but I have learned here that that approach is not the way to go and will not work. Even if you wanted to do it, you have to make her work for it. Maybe that was a giant problem in our entire relationship, I just let her have and do whatever she wanted. I didn't really lead, I was no longer a challenge for her. Who knows?
What do you think was the biggest thing(s) that turned it around for you guys? I'd love to read an update on your sitch. I should probably go back and dig up your old one and read it again. Everyone is so similar that they tend to bleed together if you don't keep them fresh in your mind.
Thanks for posting to me FFH. I really do appreciate your support as we have followed each other down this path for quite a while now. I guess I still hope that my W comes around, I'm just not counting on it.......
Thanks for understanding. I was on a campout this weekend so didn't have much time. Started catching up on some of the others, but have a long way to go.
I'll be off the next couple of days and will check back, but wanted you (and everybody else) to know I got the messages. I love you guys.
Cheers bud.
Are you doing OK AG? What is your status? I was worried about you.
Personally, I've been smoking way too many cigars and I've put 10 lbs back on from drinking too much beer and lack of exercise. Need to get back on the horse.
Give us an update man. I really hope you are well.
