The boundary is not a 5 minute or 2 hour 4 day boundary. IF the results are not monitored and acheived the boundary is enforced.
Your boundary seemed very straightforward to me: "End all contact with OM; I will not live in an open marriage."
The "results" were that she refused.
And you're not enforcing your boundary, other than with WORDS (which actually WEAKENS your hand, not strengthens it).
"Losing weight" is an incremental goal. "I will no longer eat ice cream before I go to bed" is a DECISION, and either it's done each day or it's not. Your wife is refusing to stop eating her ice cream (cake), and thus violating your boundary.
