Just my perception... I think it's difficult for you to set DBing aside and see this objectively. She is clearly holding on to the material security and you are facilitating it in the hope she turns around. She could and probably would dump you any time since she has already checked out emotionally. All it would take is an OM or talking with a friend or family about you're not being there for her, etc. and then she'll be going legal on you. You need to look out for YOU and the kids.
