Given your state of mind, it was probably impossible, but from what I read, the best thing for you to do by far was to stay in the house, pull yourself up, put on a confident optimistic smile, start living your life for you and your kids, and reduce your interaction with your W to weekly gentle inquiries about whether she's found a place to live yet.
At this point, you don't need to "win her back", you need to make her believe you've had an awakening, and now you've decided you deserve better than someone who doesn't really want you.
She cares about you, which is great, but she just doesn't see you as a strong man who can take care of her. Just the opposite.
