Thanks to all of you who have offered kind words and helpful advice. One day at a time is all I can do. Still wish I could talk to him and tell him I'm sorry. Tell him that I really DO love him even though I did unloving things. Beg for another chance. I still need to find a new IC, one that isn't crazier than me, and one I feel comfortable with. I've tried 2, maybe the third will be the one for me.
