WAW 20 Years. Divorce to maybe possible R

[TimeHeals]

Here's my 2 bits:

As long as what you do is about controlling her, you will fail. A boundary is not about controlling somebody else;it's about what you will allow to happen in your life.

You are failing because you want her to change what she is doing instead of accepting that she can do whatever she wants, but you don't have to put up with it