I've received a string of personal notes from my XH, which he's tagged onto emails we have been exchanging about issues our son is having at school. I haven't responded to any of them (the personal notes, not the stuff about our son). He's reminisced about the old places we lived, the people we used to know, etc. And last night, after I sent him a set of photos I took a couple years ago, he said they make him think about the good times and wished it could be that way now.
I'm still not responding. Don't know if he wants me to or not. When we were separated I was pulled back in by this sort of thing. He hinted at it, I took action. I don't know if he wants me to take some sort of action or if he really just wants to reminisce and that's it.
Honestly, I am pulled back in already. My feelings for him have never changed. But I had to start thinking with my head instead of blindly following my feelings around. I'd like to tell him that all he has to do is tell me he wants to get back together, show me that he's getting help for his emotional problems, and find a way to move across the country to where our son and I live now, and ba-da-bing, it can all be his again. Somehow, that doesn't seem quite right, or realistic, or likely.
I did allow myself to pray for a reconciliation and renewed marriage vows between he and I last night. I've been fighting with myself about that. If I pray for it/manifest it is that just holding on when I should be letting go and moving on. Or is there no harm in it, since I maybe I can't force my feelings to change and I'll move on in my own time anyway?
