I couldn't help but think if I asked this of my W every day during our M, would I be here now?
Did you cause your W MLC? Psstt....answer is NO.
Could have done thing better in your M. Ayep, everyone could have.
Crushed Her crisis is not YOUR fault.
Oh...and you could look back, it is healthy to do so, BUT only so that when YOU look FORWARD you do not make the same mistakes.
I came to this site to stand for my M.
I am here because I am standing for ME now.
Why?
Because my stand is NO longer about my W. It is about me, becoming and living the life that I want to live.
I stand because I made a commitment to her.
IF she decided to terminate the M - that will be her choice.
I my friend, will look in the mirror and KNOW that I did everything I could and then some. I will look in the mirror and...
Know, that I stood for me, for something that I BELIEVED in.
Which is....
Love
Crushed - I can tell you that I still love this woman and always will. I can also tell you that if I am divorced, that I will be okay. Matter of fact, better than okay. I will find love again, it will be different. Why?
Because I stood for ME and became what I always wanted to be...
A MAN!
Not perfect...actually flawed in many ways BUT a MAN non the less.
A Man that Loves deeply Listens Communicates Validates Accepts change Is a kick as* dad Is a kick as* friend Is a kick as* funny motherf*cker.
Just a man dude....
As the Shinedown song says....
A simple man...
That is why I stand Crushed...
Why are you going to stand?
Can you answer that?
BTW, going to church is a great idea.
Corinthians V 13:4.... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
PRIDE....as a man we need some of it...FOR anyone dealing with a MLC spouse..Pride is a killer.
Love is patient.....
Love is kind....
It does not envy...
Do you love your W crushed? If you do, give her this time...
Take this time for you...crushed....
Don't write about it...live it! Every day, day by day,
Wake up in the morning and just try to be the best man you can be.
God Bless,
Eric
Now I'm going to go GAL my butt off!
If you ever want to talk my friend, look me up on the alt.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hey E, doing fine. I took some time from work as the rest of the year is going to be nuts. The projects continue now in the yard. I've neglected the grass, the weeds, the fire ants, the flower beds, the pruning, you name it. The neighbors are getting anxious, but there are many yards worse than mine.
I posted over on MHL's thread the last few days. When examining sitches, his exemplifies robx's and TG's statements that none are unique. MHL appears to be on a similar path
Tonight was interesting. Little contact with W while I took S5 to his game. She went to the store with D7 and showed up late as my son played his last inning. We said little. Though we went to the cars and she bought us dinner to take home. On the transfer, she leans in for a kiss. No initiation from me. I've kissed her recently, but this time it caught me off guard. I didn't take much away from it except for the fact that I was psyched that I didn't have to cook when returning late after the game. I was pleased with my composure.
M / W: 43 D8 S6 M 10 years / T 13 years W admitted EA/PA: 10.6.09 Separated in same house 10.6.09 W moved out 2.27.10
Struggling to insert quotes from others into my posts. What am I doing wrong here? Anyone?
How to make quotes on your thread.
Easiest way, hit quote button on the bottom, instead of reply and eliminate(delete) text you do not want.
Second way copy text the way you are and hit 5th button from the right which will give you [quote][/quote I am leaving out last bracket, paste text between brackets.
Third way is to type above in manually [quote] ..text..[/quote .....(again last bracket missing).
One last thing is if you are on someone elses thread and want to take it to another thread you can hit the quote button, cut or copy the text, then go to the thread you are taking it to and paste it in your reply
You can use the preview button to see what your post will look like before you submit it.
The projects continue now in the yard. I've neglected the grass, the weeds, the fire ants, the flower beds, the pruning, you name it.
Good dude. Keep yourself busy! It helps ease the mind.
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The neighbors are getting anxious, but there are many yards worse than mine.
Dude…you should see mine. I used to have landscapers – it was the check I loved to write. 5 dudes jump out of a few trucks, several big ride mower and 20 mins later my property would look great. I now have my teenage son mow the lawn…guess how it looks.
Quote:
MHL appears to be on a similar path
MHL is a very cool dude. Just so that you know…You can call him “Lord of the Rings” – he likes that
Quote:
On the transfer, she leans in for a kiss. No initiation from me. I've kissed her recently, but this time it caught me off guard. I didn't take much away from it except for the fact that I was psyched that I didn't have to cook when returning late after the game.
A couple of things…
Be careful – I have seen on many occasion the use of sex (in your cases a kiss) as a means to pull you back in. Now I am not saying that this was not a good thing. No, just make sure that YOU are comfortable and HAVE no expectations.
Quote:
I was pleased with my composure.
Your doing good dude.. Very good.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
OK, last weekend the W rents a nearby room on the water and invites me out to hang by the pool with her and the kids. This is awkward and simultaneously relaxing as I have not sat still for a while. The kids are playing nearby and W and I are reading and passing the time. We all go out to dinner together for a nice time which ends with an extended kiss beyond the usual "thank you" kiss-out of sight of the kids. She thanks me for kissing her gently. Of course its interrupted by my son slamming the door into W's ankle to see what we're doing outside. I go home to take out the dog and get some flirty texts. I return the next morning for more family activities and its like nothing ever happened.
I'm proud of the fact that I foresaw this coming the next day. I wonder if I should have asked if she was disappointed that I left the night before. Regardless, I was able to focus on the fun with kids and had a good time.
W is off this weekend with slutty friend an they've rented a room on the water two hours away. The sports, birthday party, kid activity circuit is brutal this weekend and I find small twinges of disgust with her.
She clearly views this time as "more get back at H" time as I have traveled overseas with my sport for several days in the past. She has always said she never kept "score" during our M, but its clear that scoreboard was larger than the one hanging in Dallas Stadium.
In my experience, the one's not keeping score are so far behind, they don't want to be reminded of it.
M / W: 43 D8 S6 M 10 years / T 13 years W admitted EA/PA: 10.6.09 Separated in same house 10.6.09 W moved out 2.27.10
Crushed it sounds like she was taking YOUR temperature, which right now is a good thing. IMO, that means that she is still confused over what exactly she wants to do. The bigger question….is does this change anything that YOU do for YOU?
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She clearly views this time as "more get back at H" time as I have traveled overseas with my sport for several days in the past.
Are you sure that what she is thinking or why she did it OR is that you projecting YOUR beliefs? FTR, I am guilty of this….far to many times to remember.
What I have learned from this process is that as hard as it is…you need to focus on what SHE does and eliminate YOUR own projection/perception of why she does what she does. It does neither of you any good.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
