I had an Internet EA and almost left my M. I was really in denial when I first started playing around online. Then it got worse. I was nothing like that woman! She was very much like these WAW's in A's that you read about here on the board.
I was still in the EA when I came here looking for help. That's why I try to pay it forward b/c this board helped me get my life back together. My M is still going strong today.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
But how would she hear it from someone else -- the Retrouvaille folks -- if they have a precondition of "no active affair" before you do the weekend?
Before a couple attends a weekend, they are interviewed (separately), at least in our community. That is where the issues of unrecovering addictions and affairs are brought up, and each spouse is told that any third party involvement must end before attending the w/e.
Gotcha. So you know that "a currently active affair" violates their weekend rules, but you hope that they can help you enforce the boundary by signing up for the weekend anyway, hoping they'll do this pre-weekend interview to talk some sense into the cheating spouse.
You are absoulutely right, she is in a state of denial if she thinks they can be "friends". I had an A and I said the same exact thing.
I was willing to end the A to an extent, but I wasn't ready to let go of her 100%. I rationalized that if I could still have some contact with her, it would be enough.
yea I was shocked by that comment that she thinks after this she can still be friends... what the hell? OM is a major barrier and I was lied to and betrayed by her actions with him, and I told her last week this wont work.. and what does she say today? She thought they could still be friends? WHAT?
more than friends
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
