Sweetie, you do not ever have to feel that you cannot complain, especially to me. We have all suffered a great deal throughout this.
Our trials are unique to each of us. We all have problems, and we all have blessings.
I certainly have had my share of feeling a little sorry for myself.
And I know how difficult it must be to learn that he is spending money on her house.
When I think of the financial mess I am in as a result of my h, it can still anger me a bit.
Here's the thing - I dont hold onto the anger. Not for him - for me. Because if I do, then I am giving him control over me. That is something that I will not allow in my life anymore.
So, feel the anger for a minute and then remember how warm and cozy your house if for your children. Remember that they feel safe and secure there. Remember that it doesnt matter what state the house is in, only that you have a provided them a home and yourself one, too.
And who cares why he is building a room there? Not you, because you are on this journey to peace. He, on the other hand, is trying to buy and build things to fill a deep hole.
So, my friend, try to let it go. And fill your home with things you love.
sa, it's been just one short but long year. You'll have a ton of emotions to process as life progresses, and you'll do well.
I can get riled up when I think of how far my/our life has been set back by H's antics over the last 7 years, but I also know that had things not have happened how they did I would not be doing what I am loving now.
Keep your chin up, eyes on the horizon.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
He, on the other hand, is trying to buy and build things to fill a deep hole.
This totally makes sense!
It certainly does CW, you tried to tell me as much. Thank you for helping me through.
B, thank you. You are one special lady. You're right about the house.
Cat, thank you dear friend for always being there.
WCW, You're right. I'll keep my eyes on the horizon.
To all that have posted on my thread, thank you for your words of wisdom and comfort, and for the occasional 2 x 4 when needed. God lead me to this place for a reason. I am blessed to have found you. There really are angels without wings!
I also do not want anyone to feel like it is the end all, be all, or that the fact that you are not D, holds some sort of special meaning...
Cat I agree with everything you wrote but please explain this one thing ^^^^ a little more.
Depressed people are controlling. Divorce is a way to control. So when the divorce does not occur why would you say that this has no meaning? To me it could be a message is being sent by the depressed person.
I understand that trying to understand mental illness is like garbage in garbage out.
As usual you always know what to say. I will post on my thread as to not hijack Seeking's (althought I know she would not mind).
Seeking,
Everyone has already given you the advice that you needed so all I can offer is a cyberhug ((((((((((((seeking))))))))))))
Chin up sweetie - It get's better. It really does.
So what are your plans for this weekend?
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I also do not want anyone to feel like it is the end all, be all, or that the fact that you are not D, holds some sort of special meaning...
Cat I agree with everything you wrote but please explain this one thing ^^^^ a little more.
Depressed people are controlling. Divorce is a way to control. So when the divorce does not occur why would you say that this has no meaning? To me it could be a message is being sent by the depressed person.
I understand that trying to understand mental illness is like garbage in garbage out.
Is that what you are trying to say?
Cadet,
It has meaning, if you allow it to hold you back in your life.
If you are waiting for the D, as a way to decide what you want in your life, then you are being controlled...
If you move on ONLY because you have been D, and not because it is what you choose to do, then you are being controlled...
Again, it is how we ALLOW ourselves to be affected by our S's actions...
And honestly, I know people who are, and have been, a couple, in love, very in love, for years and years and years...
However they have chosen not to wed...does that make their relationship any more or less than that of someone who chose to?
Our actions and feelings have the meaning that we place on them...
To a MLCer that hasn't filed, it could mean something, or it could not...
We just don't know until they choose to talk...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
