I grew up on The English Beat, Joe Jackson, The Police, Elvis Costello, all the stuff we Yanks imported in the Eighties. Love that stuff. Another really sad song for you is the B-52's "Give Back My Man..." Not that you need more of that stuff. Costello's "A Good Year For The Roses" is another song that I can't listen to anymore. Maybe some day. At least you're not into country music. Every other song seems to be about broken hearts!
Chin up. I'll bet there's more than one chap at work who's vaguely interested. Let that put some perk in your step, even if you don't pursue it. It'll make you feel good, as well as make your H wonder what's gotten into you.
I am catching up on your post. I don't agree that you have no control over your sitch. I remember when I felt the same way and was discouraged when my STBXW would not contact me. NCU you control you and what makes NCU happy! Please don't put too much energy trying to mind read what your H is thinking. I can tell you one thing and that he is thinking of his own happiness and not yours. from your posts you sound like a wonderful woman and a great catch and that is what you need to be thinking about. Be the one in someone else's eyes.
I hate the being alone as well. I actually went out on a date yesterday and have been on a couple for the last few weeks. Nothing serious and I admit that I am not ready for that so I tell them up front. But it is nice to have a conversation with the opposite sex, plus dinner and a movie.
I suppose our having similar musical memories is no surprise, since we're of an age, Pinhead. I knew the Police were known in the 'States, but was not sure about Elvis Costello (in the early 'eighties, anyway). Costello is one of my favourites, and I have too many songs of his I love, but "New Amsterdam", "Big Sister's Clothes" and "Diving for Pearls" are in my top list. I thought Joe Jackson wasn't really known in the US, I love "Look Sharp" as an album. Sums up the pale dark, dreary side of 'eighties British Isles. Also love Nick Lowe and Dave Edmunds, but maybe you've never heard of them.
It's not so much of a problem to listen to sad songs, they give a shape, a resonance to the "rude and shapeless mass" of unhappiness inside you, and lighten it or ennoble it, somehow. And that goes for (some) country as well. One of my favourite songs is "The Player" (I think that's the name, it's about advice on life based on card-playing, sung by Kenny Rodgers and possibly Willy Nelson?).
By the alt, do you mean FCBK? If so, I am. Only recently decided to give it a try. I don't really use it as an exhibition centre, I've got in touch that way with a few old friends I'd lost contact with and we swop messages, I've also shared some music I like with acquaintances.Plus my eldest D has a FCBK page, that way I can follow who/what she's in contact with discreetly.It felt a bit strange at first, putting my name and face out into space, but it's a means of contact, it's what you make of it. You seem highly computer literate, I suppose you're there somewhere too.
HurtinHartford,you're dead right about one thing: he's only thinking of himself at present, either because he's suffering in some way or because that's the way things are. I'm trying to detach from him, but I grew up, in many ways, beside him, became a woman by his side, I can't just turn it all off at the flick of a switch. I do my best, but the blues come down very hard at times.
Good on you for going out on a date. To be honest, I'd love to have an evening's attention from a member of the opposite sex, but am afraid my strange status (wedding ring, 3 kids and yet no man - did she eat him? Is he in the deep freeze?) is a bit off-putting. And I'm ok, but I'm not 25 anymore, and my mileage shows a bit betimes. I'd love my H to come back, but can't afford to keep hoping too hard, I'll go mad like that, still be in the same state 10 years from now. I need to change, and can't change him. But I can't see myself totally celibate for years, I'll mummify. Great spiritual and moral dilemma, but purely theoretical for the moment.
Good luck the 2 of ye. I'd look out for HIH or PH on FCBK if I knew what to search for. NCU
Me: 46 H:42 Together for 18 yrs, married 14. 3 children: 2 girls 13 and 10, one boy 7. Husband had affair, ended it and then decided on separation. Separated 08/2010
I like your humor about the deep freeze...way too many horror movies. I will tell you my Fb name if you want, but I will delete once you receive it okay?
I probably should, but I am finding myself detaching a little from the site. With both of us going dark and I am detaching and GALing well I find myself not needing the support. I am sure once the fireworks start up again that I will, but for now I am in a good frame of mind.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
