Something that was said to me when I "crossed over" into to what I refer to as self realization in all of this.

Just think how long that took for you to get there.

And you did it with a strong support group of people.

A process that IMO can be more effective than seeing an IC for your growth and healing...

Your H doesn't have that benefit.

He is on his own to figure it out. And figure it out he must before you will have a healthy relationship.

BUT

You were part of the dysfunction in your M so that part of it won't be brought back to the equation

A different you= a different relationship

Never discount the capacity for someone to grow. This process and what it teaches is capable of amazing things.

If you are detached, then time and patience can be an investment (not a sacrifice) maybe that you make in your M now?

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am