OK, it looks like you are saying a boundary is a warning or "hollow threat".. and eventually it will carry weight and become an ultimatum instead...
Nope, not at all. That's the problem with language that includes "threats" and "violation" and the like. Threats are not relationship builders. What I am talking about (evidently not very eloquently or effectively) is neither of the two extremes. Ideally it happens long before it gets to threats and ultimatums (not to mention affairs). Indeed, it seems to me that a lack of effective communication is a big part of what leads couples to difficulty. And a key element of that is learning to express limits long before something becomes a big deal.
Originally Posted By: Frank V
the DR text uses the terms interchangeably...
I agree that DR uses the terms interchangeably, and that is precisely where I see things differently. Hence what I'm saying, strictly speaking, being "not DB."
