To me, an "ultimatum" is not the same as a boundary. Two different things.
I'm saying that it is most effective to start with a boundary instead of an ultimatum. The process of getting to an ultimatum (if it indeed comes to that) is important. So what you are describing is something different than what I am describing.
However, if things were to come down to an ultimatum (which is what would happen when a "bottom line is reached) then it would be disrespecting myself not to "follow through" - which I take to mean that if I say "I will do X if Y continues" then it would be holding neither one of us in regard if Y did not follow X if it continued. I would be disrespecting myself and teaching that my word didn't mean anything.
My point is that is not an effective place to start - and by the time it gets to ultimata, what is expressed is not a boundary at all.
So that would be a "yes," counselor.
OK, it looks like you are saying a boundary is a warning or "hollow threat".. and eventually it will carry weight and become an ultimatum instead...
Same point as I made before.
Hollow threats are fine, but the text says not to make hollow threats...
If I'm missing the difference between "boundary" and "ultimatum" in the dictionary of arnie here let me know... But the DR text uses the terms interchangeably...
