What is and is not DBing

[Frank V]

My point is that is not an effective place to start - and by the time it gets to ultimata, what is expressed is not a boundary at all.

So that would be a "yes," counselor.

I apologize, I missed your point above.

However, NO ONE here said to start addressing your spouse's destructive behavior using an ultimatum or boundary... Neither does the text.

So, you are refuting a claim that no one here has offered up...

I read through the thread and no one has said to start with an ultimatum... Just that one needs to be done eventually if you want to make progress with an addict or obsessive person...