Forget "unconditional regard" for another, where is the unconditional regard you should be giving yourself?
That's precisely where it starts. I can't see you as X (fill in whatever word you prefer) if I don't first see myself that way. If I accept unacceptable behavior from another, then I am not loving myself. If my spouse is adamantly unwilling to work to find mutually acceptable solutions, then what is the point of my continuing in the relationship? Just because I would choose to end the relationship in such a situation has nothing to do with how I would regard her.
I am not certainly advocating having no bottom line - I am saying that there is a lot of territory to cover before getting to that point, and more effective ways of covering that territory.
