Alright, well i feel i took one step forward, one step back tonight. I could kick myself in the butt, even as the words were coming out I knew i should just shut up. So anyway, i met my wife tonight and we talked for about an hour. I was validating, she was talking, this was the first and most we've talked since this has happened. So we kind of start talking about us, and ive realized what my next 180 is going to be its going to be to shut up. So were talking about us and the subject of what each one of us wanted came up. So I ask what she wants and she tells me that I dont know, i dont really feel like its up to me. Im the one who's left so she asks me what I want. I look at her and I said I want us to commit to trying to work this out. I go on for a few minutes about taking it slow, not really changing anything at the moment. Just planning to point to a direction whether its divorcing or staying together. She said something about just seeing what happens and i said thats fine, id rather have a plan, but i told her that it would take a little of both. So then I ask her what she wanted, and she once again said I dont know. She said we both seemed happy right now, and i agreed that i was happy, but said i would prefer to work this out. She talked about how she liked doing things for her right now, how she liked enjoying friends, family and just coming and going however she wanted to. After all this she apologizes once again and says something like im probably going to call her tomorrow or something all mad, and I said no, but im not bringing up us anymore. I also through in that one day she was going to wake up and regret whats happened but of course that is neither here nor there.
Ok so i guess the only good thing that came from tonight was the subject of the OM. When we first sat down i asked her if she had talked to him and she said that he had sent her a text fri. but that she didnt respond. She was telling me about a conversation she had with her aunt about guys and a relationship being the last thing on her mind and that she just wants to work on her and do things for herself. So when we get ready to leave i look at her and say If you want us to beable to communicate at all, youre going to have to call him right now, tell him to never communicate with you again and if he does that she was going to tell me. So she did all of that right there on speaker phone with me listening before I left.
I guess now im just going to continue to GAL, and not worry about her. I dont really know what else to do. I feel like if i was to ask her out that it would only make me look weak now. So im just going to leave it alone. I dont know what else to do.
