I'll use an old phrase...backsliding. I'm cleaning out the basement and lugged a ton of stuff over to her backyard. She is out today.
Ultrasound pictures of S10.
A ton of cards from me to her.
Worst tho'...for the first time was stuck. I came across the photos of the trip I took her on for her 30th birthday to Europe: Switzerland, Italy, hiking in the alps. I am a heave ho'er when it comes to old relationships. I hesitated. Honestly, over such a stupid thing, I wasn't sure whether to put them back in the box and send them back to her, or, keep them. I'm sure all stuff going back to her is tossed. Memories.
Shilt. I was so much younger in those pix. Gonna be a rough 2 months. FIB
PS: Hey Frank. Hope you are well.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
My rule of thumb when giving up things that may hold memories is to put it in a pile to one side and give it 24 hours before doing anything with it. If it is something I think might be important to S15 then I put it in a box with his name on it (i.e. - wedding photos, family pictures). If it is something that brings back good memories for me but wouldn't be of any value to S15 then I look at it, capture the memory and then let it go. I only gave things to Gabe that I thought he would keep. If there was a possibility of him trashing a memory, I kept it or got rid of it myself.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey Frank, I'm sorry that you have to go through all this.
But I know, without a doubt, that it matters to your children how you handled it all. You have given them a path to follow in life when things are difficult. You have shown them what it is to have honor and integrity. That matters, my friend.
So, you are on the next part of this journey. I know it will be tough, I am not far behind you. But I also know that you will be ok.
You are a strong, compassionate, honorable man, a wonderful father, a dedicated doctor. I know that good things are in your future.
Just keep going. Keep moving through it. You have to, you have no other choice.
that SO sucks. I cannot see you tossing those things though. And I'm so jealous of that great trip. She's such a wacko. But Now, who's to say she won't stare at those pics someday and cry too? (Especially if she looks good in the photos and SHE was younger then too....) Seriously, we all assume she'll toss them. Maybe so. But I think a picture or two of a beautiful place like that might allow her to recall (and you too) that there WERE some good times. And you have two great kids from all this....
How's the new job? And the kids? And the new place? You went with the nicer place with more stuff to do, right? You deserve it and so do the kids.
I have nothing "Upbeat" to say about losing the house, (unless you count the batchit losing it too, as upbeat.) I'm just sorry Frank.
Sorry for your loss, but hopeful about your future. And am Sending hugs your way and hopes for a good holiday. Something tells me that right around the corner Frank, SOON, there is something very good for you... ((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I struggle with that memory stuff, too. I grabbed the tape of our wedding and I'll get it converted to DVD at some point. I may make three copies and leave two in my safe deposit box for the girls later. I grabbed the tape because I was worried she'd pitch it.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Just thinking of you FIB. I'm proud of you for the kind of man you are and the way you push yourself through....and take the high road.
I think I've told you before my ex rarely saw/sees our kids now 23 and 18. They were 7 and 2 when we divorced. His bitterness and pain kept him from that. So he moved back home (300 miles) And he loves them. He sends cards now and then, some money now and then. But has only in the last two years made calls (to the oldest) and has never come here to visit them.....although if we make it back home he wants them to visit him.
They don't get over this and he hasn't gotten over it.
You will never regret extending yourself to your kids.
You're a good man...and a good father. sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Better post. I think I got over the 'whoa is me on the loss of my house' thing. I put a down payment on an apartment today. It's nice. 2BR, one bath, loft, garage and a FIREPLACE!! Funny, I think I would miss that about my house the most. It has a large community pool, BB and RB courts. It's about 10 minutes away, next town over. Close, clean, pretty.
S10 was into it today and excited. D7 wouldn't get out of the car, became weepy, closed her eyes and refused to open them initially, then, looked around and got excited. Proud of them.
December 15 is closing and I can start moving in on 12/1. Scary and not a lot of time considering the mortgage commitment just came in.
S10 opens up more to me. Apparently XW DOES make his phone calls to me difficult:
"Dad, whenever I call you mom says I'm on the phone too long; why are you calling him again; she hassles me when I text you. She gives me a hard time". I talked this over with him in constructive terms without denigrating his mom (but boy would I love to call a spade a spade).
Oh geez. She REALLY has a problem. My kids are free to contact their mom WHENEVER they want..HOWEVER they want...and as many TIMES as they want. This woman REALLY has issues. I hope Cadillac Man has it figured out.
As for the pix. I kept them. The photos of Switzerland are like out of a story book. Memories I think I'll box and save. Nothing else new on the dating scene. Just, "bleh. LOL. Once the move is completed, I think this mostly wraps this up. Technically, in the eyes of the law, we are still married. Still waying for the judge to stamp the stip. When THAT happens, I can finally let XW of the insurance and that will save me about $19K per year.
Hugs to all of you. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
PS...I guess the edit button is back to being 'off'. I apologize re: sp. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
