I ask myself what does it look like when I would consider letting my W back in my life.
What is healthy for us. More importantly
When is it healthy for us.
Yup... this is the key IMO.
I made a decision to trust again when we started piecing... and now I know my H was not in a healthy place. He had not done the work, he had not addressed what brought him there. So my trust should not have been given as it was.
Now, after I am moving on with my life and proceeding with D... now he brings up reconciliation again.
He is still not healthy. He has still not done the work.
So I am moving forward with my life, feeling stronger, more confident, and more at peace every day.
He is falling apart. That is no longer my problem. But I hope it causes him to do the work he needs to do.
You sound like you are in a strong, healthy place Sunny and you are handling yourself very well. When you are in this place and truly detached (which is always a process that I find takes a lot longer than you think) you can make the choices you need to make for yourself.
I also agree its a process of taking it slow, watching, observing, and focusing on you.
