I think that I can understand how you feel. It's SO hard to muster patience to deal with the alien who is inhabiting H's body. If you're like me, you're barely hanging on to that patience......Yet, H's invitation to include you with his parents and D on his birthday seems like he may be turning a corner to coming back to you. Is it possible that H was quiet and distant BECAUSE of his birthday? How old is he now? If aging is part of what prompted this crisis, then wouldn't a birthday be a reminder of the issues that brought H TO his crisis? (Just guessing here.) It could also be a reminder of time passing. H may be thinking...."by this age, I always thought that I would be doing X,Y, or Z".
What are YOU doing to regain your strength and patience? I find that it is MUCH easier to deal with the drama that is my XH's life (and my loneliness) when I am happy. When I take care of myself, I have extra happiness to give to others.
