W held it together for the party. I kept busy, helped out when needed, stayed cool. Went to look at some furniture for the new place. Watched Mad Men for the first time, pretty good series.
I don't think there's anyone else involved now. That's why she's starting to crack. I'm almost positive there has been an EA/PA in the past, which is probably why she has so much guilt/depression going on.
Now that I've made the one big decision, I need to get my mind ready for telling my girls I'm moving out. And then try to figure out how involved I'll be with my W as we raise our daughters in two households.
We were looking at the girl's school vacation schedule, and W asked me what we were going to do about Thanksgiving. I told her she could have them on Tday, and I would celebrate with them on Friday. She said no, why not celebrate it here. I said "Because I'm not sure I want to do that."
I have to really be careful not to penalize the kids. Not sure if I'm doing the right things or what. Time to learn.
Maybe you could drop by for Tday dessert? 1/2 an hour then take the kiddos.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
I just want to be really careful about sending the girls mixed messages. As well as sending W mixed messages.
Understood. At somepoint though, I think you will have to show the kids that while you and W are apart, you don't hate eachother and can deal with things. But Tday is probably too soon.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
"I don't think there's anyone else involved now. That's why she's starting to crack. I'm almost positive there has been an EA/PA in the past, which is probably why she has so much guilt/depression going on."
Probably right otherwise you might have been able to kick her out of the house. It doesn't take much to encounter another OM - they are are all over the place (workplace, church, school, grocery store) esp. if she's the talkative type. The guilt/depression will probably be converted to anger or love depending on which way the chips fall. Risky territory!
Just some legal advice: Before you move out of the house get the custody/parentling schedule agreed to in writing and keep a daily journal documenting everything you did for the kids and the time you spent with them. Otherwise you can be viewed later as abandoning the family. There may also be tax consequences to living separately. And bank accounts?
FB2, is the custody/parenting schedule something that I can draft and just have her sign? We're really trying not to make any legal arrangements out of this separation, and I'd hate to go to the mattresses right away. She's been really clear that this isn't by any means a permanent thing. Wanting to keep me wriggling right on the hook...
